First Ultrasound... (that's my warning to any queasy men)

Well, I'm still glad I told the whole world so soon.

I went in for sort-of an emergency ultrasound yesterday. Earlier this week my nausea started to go away (at first I was excited, but then concerned - I was to the point where it should be getting as bad as it would ever get, not better). By Wednesday, I was spotting so I called the doctor and got in Thursday. (my actual first ultrasound would have been today - Friday, so not much earlier)

I got the ultrasound and the baby was not the size it was supposed to be and it didn't have a heartbeat anymore. It was determined that it had died a week or so ago and my body was just starting to figure things out. It hit me a lot harder than I thought it would to see that little bean inside of me, without a heartbeat (having seen two others at this same time - 9-10 weeks - and knowing what they should look like). The doctor looked for a lot longer than she needed to, hoping to see something good.

The "comforting" statistics: 2 out of every 5 pregnancies end in a miscarriage and there's nothing I could have done to prevent it and nothing I could have done to cause it (besides smoking over a pack of cigarettes a day).

I was given three choices: go home and wait it out, go home with some medicine to speed things up, or get a D & C (surgery). I'm not fond of the idea of any surgery and she said it could take my body 3-4 WEEKS to finish it on it's own (that's a long, heavy period) and I'd be left with some of my pregnancy symptoms for most of that time too, so I got the medicine (and some strong pain killers).

Within six (painful - I had to dialate to about a 4) hours of starting the medicine, it was all but over. I'll probably still spot a little for a few more days, but I'm grateful for it to be over so quickly. (a gross side note: the placenta [and everything with it] came out whole -- it was about the size of my whole palm)

It's very sad to not have the end in sight anymore (we plan on being done after three kids) and it's depressing to think the last 5 weeks I spent sick was all a waste. But I spent the evening (while it was all going on) at my mom's house (she had two miscarriages before she ever had any kids) and I feel a whole lot better now.